The Schmoozart Cloudcaster

Solid in the middle, where it counts, but fluffy round the edges for supreme comfort.

Play your music and instantly share it with the entire known universe by sending it directly to the cloud where others can take full advantage of any monetary value that it might possess. This functionality is brought to you free of charge courtesy of our recently researched CGQ * technology.

Like other instruments in our range there is no facility for using a strap with this model, but when it drops to the floor it will bounce straight back into your loving arms.

We use finely drawn barley sugar for the pickup windings due to the diminishing supply of ginger Peruvian virgins. This, of course, gives you the sweetest sound ever achieved in electronic instruments and also guards against travel sickness.

Affordably priced at $983,000 (not including wet wipes) it is the ideal instrument for any millionaire aspiring to be a rock god.

* Customer Gullibility Quotient

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