The Schmoozart Eschercaster

Designed using the latest advances in force field technology and taking full advantage of CGQ * it offers the discerning virtuoso everything that modern research has found marketable desirable in a top priced class instrument.

Advantage is taken of the force field generator so that a strap is not necessary. Move the guitar to your favourite playing position and it stays there.

The pickups are wound from the pubic hair of ginger Peruvian virgins, which not only produces the rich, smooth tones you need — it also conserves the world's shrinking copper resources.

Affordably priced at $893,000 (not including force field generator) it is the ideal instrument for any millionaire aspiring to be a rock god.

* Customer Gullibility Quotient

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